Why is it important for man to worry about losing you? Well, here’s a huge statement that some of you might find controversial. If your man never experiences any fear or worry of losing you, he will never fall deeply in love with you.
Let me say it in a different way; if he never worries that you could leave him or that he could lose you, he will never value and appreciate and love you the way that he should. So, if you’re feeling taking for granted or he’s not really showing you the love and attention that he once did, here the 7 tips that will make him worry about losing you and turn things around for your relationship.
1. Let Go Of Your Anger And Stop Talking About Feeling Unappreciated
This one is difficult to do, but absolutely essential. When you feel like he’s taking you for granted or that he doesn’t appreciate you, it’s natural to feel hurt and even angry about it, and it makes sense that you would want to talk to him about it. Sometimes that’s enough to temporarily turn things around.
However, if things don’t change, continuing to bring up your complaint might actually make things worse. Things just get more difficult between you, it’s like he sees you as the one who’s always complaining and nagging at him.
You must not bring this topic up again, at least not yet. I know it’s not easy to do, but if you continue to bring it up you could sabotage your chances of turning things around. So, despite how you’re feeling, you must not let him know that you’re upset or sad or worried. Instead after you do these steps, he’s going to be the one missing and appreciating you and he will bring it up himself.
2. Prioritize Your Fitness
It’s not uncommon for couples in a relationship to put on some extra pounds and make the gym and their personal fitness less of a priority. People get comfortable with one another and place less of an emphasis and being in their best and most attractive physical shape.
If you’ve gained a few pounds and don’t have the same hour glass figure that you had when you met your man, getting back into shape is something that he will certainly notice and appreciate. So, join a gym or start following a particular workout program and make it a priority, make sure that he understands how important this is to you, and that you have particular fitness or size goals to meet. He should be happy that you are making these changes, but he’s also going to know that you’re going to be more attractive to everyone, other men included. Therefore, don’t be surprised if he makes comments or asked why you’re trying to look so good. If your physical fitness hasn’t changed at all since you’ve been in a relationship, you can still share with him and increased level of enthusiasm about your fitness, then do the next tip.
3. Glamorize Your Looks
In the beginning of most dating relationships and before any commitments are made, both people are working towards gaining the affection and trust of their partner. That’s because, when we like someone, we show them, we tell them and we work hard to make it known to them in hopes that our feelings are being reciprocated. Therefore, we are motivated to show our love by both our desire to have this other person as well as by feeling insecure about our outstanding with them.
The more we invest in someone or the more effort we put into someone or to something, the more we appreciate and like them as a result. Now, what happens when a man has no fear of a woman ever leaving him? Well, then half of his motivation is removed, and no longer has to try so hard, he no longer has to work on securing your love and attention. If he has no fear of ever losing you, he knows that he doesn’t have to be on top of his game and you’ll still be there. Consequently, he takes you for granted, he under appreciate you and no longer works as hard at making the relationship great.
That’s when you need to gently remind him of your value in his life, and by no means what i suggest that you purposely try to make him feel jealous or engage in any type of manipulate games. These tips are all based on focusing on you and prioritizing you, looking amazing, feeling amazing and reminding him that he’s with an amazing woman and that he must work to ensure he keeps you interested in him.
When in a relationship, it’s common for people to get so comfortable that they let their appearance fade. If this resonates with you, it’s time to start glamorizing the way that you look when you’re with him, and when you’re not with him. So, dress well and make sure that your hear and your skin is glowing and look your best. He’s going to notice when other men are paying more attention to you, and that’s going to remind him that other men find you attractive.
Now, if you’re a person who’s always looking your best, consider making a change in the way you look. Perhaps you could change your hair length or your color or change your style of clothing or change your make up. Just make sure that it’s enough of a change that he will notice, and it’s a change that makes you look sexier and more glamorous.
The psychology behind these changes are two fold; first he’s going to be wondering why you’ve made this significant change in the way that you look? he’s going to be questioning why it’s so important for you to look better, for you to look different? and he’s going to question if it’s because you want to be attractive to other men. This is going to provoke just a little bit of fear that someone else could take his place. The second thing that happens when you change the way you look or the way that you dress, he’s going to be wondering if you’re also changing your feelings and if you’re changing your feelings about him. Before i get to tip number four, I want to explain why the fear of losing you is essential to him falling in love and staying in love with you.
4. Resurrect Your Social Life Outside Of His
Have fun away from your man and go out with your friends. Start doing things for you such as, new hobby or simply something that you enjoy. This forces him to recognize your independence and that you’re not just sitting by the phone waiting for his call.
Remember, one of the most important things that men find attractive in women is independence. He’s got to know how full and complete your life is, and if he becomes part of it, it’s because you want him to be part of it, not because you need him to be part of it. So, make sure that you are keeping up with the life you had prior to meeting him. Be yourself and make yourself a priority. Making plans with your girlfriends and keep your schedule busy.
This goes a long way towards helping him to see you as a high value woman with an exciting life, and when you do that, he is going to want to be a part of that, and when he isn’t that he’s going to feel that too. So, when he calls you last minute to make plans, oops! Sorry, I have plans, this will make him prioritize and plan his time with you. He’ll also begin to recognize that he does not get the privilege of calling you or asking you to go out when he feels a whim. Make other plans and he will start to remember how you used to be available for him when he prioritizes a relationship.
5. Connect With Him Emotionally On An Intimate Level
You have to create a safe space for him to be emotionally intimate. Think back to a time when you felt really close and connected with your partner or a time when you felt that you could tell your partner your deepest secrets and it would be totally accepted. We all need that deep connection with someone, and those deep and wonderful feelings of intimacy flourish in an atmosphere of safety.
Create a safe zone for him to be freely expressive to be himself. That means being a person who’s very accepting, caring and compassionate. When he’s connected with you on an emotionally intimate level, he will certainly miss you when he feels disconnected. After all, you want him to be lonely for you and loneliness is the feeling we get in our heart when we want intimacy and to be connected with someone, but no one is willing or available to connect.
6. Talk When The Time Is Right
This tip is super important, if you’ve done these first steps correctly, your boyfriend will definitely recognize the change and will probably become concerned and might even object to these changes, and that’s a good thing. You want him to recognize and remember that he has an amazing woman.
If he doesn’t notice these changes, that’s when you should be concerned. You won’t be the one who should bring up this topic, but when he notices your changes, he’s either going to step up his game and become more loving and more like he used to be or he’s going to bring up what he has noticed and want to have a conversation about it. And that’s perfect. When he does, be clear and honest about what you want and your expectations for the relationship.
7. Be Willing To Walk Away
You must be willing to walk away from someone and something if it isn’t working. You can’t lie to yourself or bargain with yourself that although he isn’t really what you’re looking for that he will change or that things will get better. Believe me they won’t, and if anything, they will only get worse. He needs to feel that you weren’t willing to settle, that you aren’t going to tolerate behaviors or actions of his that you don’t agree with.
In addition, in order for him to really appreciate you, he needs to experience this fear of loss, essentially the fear of losing you. This fear will be even greater, if you’re at your best self, because this type of fear is in fact rooted in love, but he will only experience this if he knows that you’re willing and able to walk away from something that isn’t right for you.
Remember, a new relationship should be exciting and passionate and easy. When you really like someone, you want them to know how important and valuable the relationship is. And you want to know that your feelings are being reciprocated. So, you treat them with as much affection and consideration as you can, and that is exactly how you should be treated in return. Don’t settle for anything less.